Halloween means something different to me♥

I love Halloween decorations!

In this city, people go all out with decorating!

It's so cool!!! But it's funny because I HATE scary things but LOVE Halloween decorations!! They're so cute^^

On October 30th me and my good friend Tom had a baking night. Everything we baked would be sold during our classmate's memorial service. All the money collected would go towards the scholarship put in his name^^

I don't think I've ever been prouder to be a part of my class.

And to think I used to all but hate this school haha.

It really does come down to the kind of people you surround yourself with, or to be more specific the people you don't..

Well, it works both ways doesn't it?

Anyways, this was my first time making banana/ apple bread..

To be frank I did everything wrong....

I was supposed to add 1 1/2 cups of butter and 1tsp of creme cheese in one bowl and beat at room temperature...

that's not room temperature...

So we heated up the bowl a bit and it was better.

Then you're supposed to gradually add the sugar to the bowl and beat the mixture until it's light and fluffy.

Well at this point I had already added the sugar, flour, baking soda and baking powder together in one bowl....ORZ

So I figured that I'd just add the whole dry mixture and gradually add that to the butter and creme cheese and everything would be fine.

It was so hard to mix 

Furthermore we needed two eggs but I only had one..

so we added a little bit of milk to the mixture to soften it up a bit. After adding the banana and apple this is what it looked like

It turned out with the consistency of dough...which it isn't really supposed to be...
But it looked better than it did before!

We mixed it a bit more and it moistened up...a bit

After that you add one half of the mixture into pan, sprinkle two tablespoons of brown sugar and 2 teaspoons of ground cinnamon on top of that layer. (Like a derp I misread tspn and added two tablespoons  of ground cinnamon as well -__-) Then you add a layer of pecans on top of that followed by the remainder of the mixture (now dough) into the baking pan.

The idea is that there will be a layer of brown sugar/ cinnamon/ pecan-y goodness in the middle of the banana loaf. 

About an hour later!

It actually didn't look or taste that bad! It was pretty good if you ask me^^

While we waited for that to cool, Tom carved a pumpkin!

Pumpkin brains!!

d'awwww

I think it came out pretty good!!!

Her name is Latisha Kobe

Don't ask me why we named her that.....

We ended up talking about Naruto for another hour after that.. (not sure how)

I slept over at Tom's house and  went to sleep at about 3 in the morning to get up at 8 in time to run back to my house, drop of baking supplies and drop the banana bread to the bake sale. 

I was so tired....

But I went to ALL of my classes that day and the memorial service.

It was beautiful and all very emotional. So many people came and it was really well organized.

Everyone was respectful, they hung pictures of our classmate on the wall and showed a tribute video via projector on the wall.

There was live music and dance performances. It was genuinely one of the most human experiences I've ever had in my life

Students putting together something positive in light of a tragic occurrence. Something that lets me know we're all becoming adults now and have the power to do something big for other people.

We'll all be seniors next year and maybe we'll do this again..maybe not. But it's nice to know that this was able to happen this year, in light of everyone being so busy and the short amount of time we had to put it together. 

I'm just grateful to be here at this time, at this school, with these people.

Junior year really has been different from last year.

 Being away from home can be a lot.

Last year, even though I was always surrounded by my friends I never felt like I was a part of something and the stress and isolation felt awful and sucked the motivation out of me.

But this year I've changed my circle a bit and it really has changed my college experience. 

I am alone a lot but that's because I choose to be. I like to think.

But I always look forward to going to class with my peers because it feels a safe environment that I can return to.

It feels like home away from home.

And you have no idea how long it took me to finally find something like this

I'm just grateful. And genuinely happy for the first time in a while.

I think I'll write one more entry. One a little bit more light-hearted than this haha.

Ciao ♥